Baby Steps

Wow…it’s been awhile since I’ve “blogged”. (I feel so cool using that word.) What have I been up to? Well…I wish I could say that I’ve been so busy exercising and not eating and that I’ve lost 50 pounds, but that’s not the case - at least not to that degree. I HAVE been exercising and I HAVE been watching my food intake and I’ve lost 5 pounds (since I started the blog). Nice, eh? I know I’ve lost some inches too because pants that were once way too tight are now just sorta tight. And my ever-so-sexy “muffin top” has gone from an extra large Sam’s Club muffin to more of a regular sized store bought muffin. Baby Steps!!

Exercising…

I’ve been doing an assortment of things. (Yes, I’ve now used the words ‘intake’ and ‘assortment’…for those of you smart asses keeping track of lame words.) With the help of a friend, I started doing a weekly hike in North Ogden. Now…let me clarify. “Weekly” implies that I’ve been doing it every week, but we’ve been up only once. BUT…our intentions are to go again and make it a regular thing. “Hike” implies that we’re climbing up hill, but we’re actually going down hill. However, before you crack up, please know that going down hill is still a form of exercise. It requires one to move their muscles in a not-so-normal fashion, which gets the heart pumping and hopefully, the metabolism sped up. Health benefits aside, the best part of this exercise is being able to hang out with my friend for an hour or so to bitch about our fatness, laugh about stupid shit, pee in the woods (it makes us one with nature), and whatever else comes to mind.

What else? I’ve been going on bike rides with the same friend and my kids, which is great because they too are getting some much needed exercise. It’s nothing major…just a fun little stroll (add two more: ‘fashion’ and ‘stroll’) through Ogden. Oh, except for that time when I ran into a goddamn pole! Yes, I ran into a YELLOW pole. But I have a good explanation for it…I’ll explain some other time.

More? Yes!...can you believe it? I decided to start a Kickboxing class. Holy Shit!!...this thing is kickboxing my ass! It’s not one of those Tae-bo, kickbox aerobics classes…it’s a hard-core real karate class. I’ve been to it only twice now, but I’m committed to going twice a week for as long as it takes. The first week was brutal. I felt like a huge jack ass…there with a variety of males…from grown men my age to prepubescent, stinky, sweaty boys…all of whom take this karate stuff very serious. They all had on a color coded belt, indicating the level of pain they could inflict upon me if I were to accost them in a dark alley. And they bowed to the floor, to each other, and said weird stuff that I didn’t recognize. I was like “uh…yeah…I’m just here for the workout…am I allowed to rest when I get tired?” Within the first 20 minutes of overexertion, I was in the bathroom puking up everything that was in my stomach. I wanted to die! But I forged on! I made it to the end and was very proud of myself. Last night was my second time there and I think it was the best damn workout I’ve ever had in my entire life! I felt a little more at ease due to the fact that the instructor was female and one other participant was too. And I made sure that I didn’t eat before going...even for a few hours before…there was no way I was gonna be barfing again! Compared to week one, I made it through last night’s class a lot further before feeling like I was gonna pass out, so I see that as a big step. After doing front kicks, with my hands up in a defensive position, and yelling “hwah” with each kick, all the way across a HUGE gym, both ways, I spaghetti-legged it over to a bench. I wanted to be sitting down when my head exploded and my heart came shooting out of my chest. And as I sat there like a pathetic, out of shape fat ass…I wondered what the hell my problem was. I’m 36 years old! I should not be this out of shape!! Sad. So I’ve set a new goal for myself: stop drinking soda. Why? Because that’s part of what makes me gasp for air (oh, and I guess the fact that I haven’t physically exerted myself like this for at least 10 years had something to do with it too). So, as I stated before, I’m taking baby steps to become healthier, leaner, thinner, and by damn…hotter! So instead of the 32 oz diet coke that I normally drink each day, I opted (there’s another…’opted’) for the 21 oz diet coke. But I am jonesin’ for more!!