Friday, May 15, 2009

Chins & Cankles

I almost think it would be better if I had been chubby my whole life, because then it wouldn’t be so hard accepting myself as I am now. But because I grew up not chubby (I won’t use the word “normal” because who knows what that means) and was very fit & thin (and HOT) in my 20’s, the person that I am in my head is not who I am on the outside.

I truly want to lose weight to be healthy. Really! Being skinny is not a good look for me because I'm "big boned" and have a somewhat muscular build. But if I could be vain for a moment and talk about all the physical reasons why I want to lose weight…just humor me and listen up…because although it sounds like I’m beating myself up here, these things are actually pretty damn funny. If you’re chubby now, or ever have been, you'll laugh.

Physical aspects of a chubby body (from head to toe) that are uncomfortable, unattractive, cause problems and that I just don’t like:

1. double chin -- This usually sneaks up on you and isn't apparent until you see a photo of yourself, so then you're forced to constantly be on the lookout for cameras at social gatherings.
2. back fat -- (I've already covered that)
3. fat arms -- Gone are the days when you can wear tank tops or cap-sleeve shirts with confidence. You usually have to bust out the seams in the sleeves so you can fit your chubby upper arms into the arm holes.
4. fat armpits -- I didn't even know this was possible, but trust is.
5. belly fat -- When you sit down and can actually feel the underside of your boob touch your gut…that's a problem!
6. thighs -- They resemble giant hams. I know there’s some muscle under there somewhere.
7. fat knees -- I don't even remember the last time I wore a pair of shorts. Nowadays, I'm confined to the capri pant...exposing only my svelte ankles (thank God I don't have cankles (see next item)…otherwise capris would be out too).
8. cankles -- As I just mentioned, I haven't experienced this phenomenon of calves & ankles blending together, but I've seen girls who have...ugh!

As a thin person, you take for granted that the above mentioned body parts (and a few others that I chose not to mention) will always be of reasonable size…or that they simply won’t exist at all. I know I did. So those of you who aren’t chubby, let this be your warning. Enjoy your skinny armpits and singular chin because they might not always be that way. And for those of you, like me, who have some weight loss goals you have to achieve…God speed!


  1. After I lost my weight, I was totally shocked that my shoes fit differently! It never occured to me that feet could be fat!

  2. I struggle to find shirts that don't show my upper arms. I despise them. Three-quarter length are best but hard to find all year round. Ugh.

  3. I think I might have lost 10 pounds from laughing at this! Awesome! Sadly, I suffer from #1-7. Thank god, no cankles. Yet.