Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's...nachos.

I’m wondering if one could actually covet food. I mean…I know all about the not coveting your neighbor’s wife (or husband) rule, but I didn’t think it could actually extend to food. One can crave food or be “in the mood” for food…but can a person truly covet food? Well…let’s talk through this for a second.

The definition of covet is “to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others; to wish for, esp. eagerly”.

In the words of Hannibal Lecter (although a creepy guy, still brilliant) “And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?”

Okay…so given all that, can a person covet food? HELL YES!!!

That was kind of a no-brainer question, but I still had to talk through it. Now, the bigger question…the frustrating, aggravating question is this: Why do we covet what we know we can’t or shouldn’t have? So in terms of food, why do we covet the foods we’re not allowed to eat?...foods that have made us fat in the first place?...foods that are so good that you don’t know if you’re supposed to eat it or roll around naked in it because it’s easily comparable to sex?

On the HCG diet, I’m not starving…nor am I restricted to eating just a rice cake and a celery stick. I’m actually enjoying my daily ration of chicken, beef, white fish, lobster, crab or shrimp (thank God I’m not allergic to shell fish!...oh, there’s veal in there too as a choice, but I don’t eat veal), combined with my daily ration of cucumbers or tomatoes or asparagus (my 3 favorites lately). I even get to partake of some yummy fresh strawberries for a snack. So why, then, do I literally ache for a warm, chocolate chip cookie or a big slice of cake or a huge bowl of ice cream? Why do those things taste so damn good?

Who the hell made up the rule that all foods that taste really, really good - like a double cheese pizza, or nachos, or french fries, or cookies, or ice cream - have to be bad for you? I know, I know…”just eat them in moderation”. Well what the hell for?!? If something tastes great, why would I want to eat it only sometimes? That’s lame!!

I have literally gone through phases where I’ve discovered something I like to eat and then have eaten it for a week straight (or longer)!! Like the gourmet shrimp tacos I talked about here. (Go back to that post to get the details of how obsessed I became with those.) I remember when I first discovered the cinnamon melts at McDonald’s – I had at least one, if not two, every day as a mid-day “snack” for at least a week. Then there was that time I stopped at Gandolfo’s in Riverdale every day after work on my way home to have a double scoop of Farr’s black licorice ice cream. I think I did that for about a week. Truckstop nachos at Maverick – when I worked for Zions in WVC, I’d stop every day after work to eat them on my way home. Cookies from Parson’s bakery in Bountiful – OMG they are literally the best!! I went through a phase where I stopped there everyday, on my way home from work (commute from SLC) and I’d buy two cookies – butter pecan and white with walnuts and icing. Let’s see…what else? The cinnamon bread sticks from Papa John’s. I remember ordering them for delivery almost every night for about a week…those with an Italian Meat Trio pizza. I could go on and on with examples like these, but I’m sure you get the point. And I know what you’re thinking: GOOD GOD WOMAN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM!!! I know…I know…what can I say?...I love food!! But in my own defense, I often eat when I’m not even hungry. I eat because I’m restless or bored. I eat because it’s a habit. I eat because it’s a comfort. And I eat when I’m really stressed out…and well, the last few years have been SHIT-TEEEEE!!!!!

Like most people, I’m an emotional eater. I never really thought I was, but in the last year…after working a very stressful and unfulfilling job…I realized that I did, in fact, rely on food to make me feel better. And it makes sense because it was during this time that I packed on the most weight. The phases from when I was commuting to SLC for work were not necessarily to numb the stress, but more for “something to do” while making the hour, often-longer-due-to-dumb-asses-who-wreck-on-the-freeway, drive home. It’s like I’ve somehow been brainwashed by the Mavericks in this state that I MUST have an enormous fountain soda and something edible with me at all times when behind the wheel.

So obviously, these phases of food gorging caught up with me and I soon found myself to be an “official” fat ass who recently jumped on the HCG bandwagon. And I’m really proud of myself for making that leap and staying with it. But it’s still so frustrating when I think about how I got here. Why didn’t I go through phases where I was craving something healthy, low calorie and low fat? I’m sure that a green salad with oil/vinegar wouldn’t have made my ass get so big. Or broiled halibut with just lemon juice – that would’ve helped me stay at a low, decent weight. These foods are good – I enjoy eating them. So why, then, am I eating these things in moderation and the other shit every day?!? Ugh!! Humans are retards sometimes…why do we do such stupid, bad-for-us shit??

So back to the warm, chocolate chip cookie or a big slice of cake or a huge bowl of ice cream that I find myself coveting on a regular basis. Am I partaking? Yes, occasionally, but only a little bit. It’s hard with kids and especially on the weekends…I have had bites of a cookie here and there…or ice cream…but it’s not the end of the world. I would be farther along in my weight loss if I hadn’t done those things, but I’m still doing very well. I’ve lost a total of 17 pounds and 12.5 inches in 21 days…and I feel great!!!


  1. Jenny- Hilarious and very true post!! Great job on the weight loss! Keep up the good work!

  2. Some people do drugs, some people drink. Some....shrimp tacos! I remember a moment in High School when I went to the pantry, grabbed the peanutbutter and stopped short. I wasn't hungry, I didn't really want peanutbutter. I was alone in the house, I was in pain as usual and I was sad. I put it back and cried for a bit. I had a different understanding of myself and food from that day forward.

  3. I covet nachos. Is that bad?

    Congrats! I wish you continued success!


  4. ok - whoa whoa whoa what is the HGC bandwagon and how do i get on it? i also struggle with being chubby and blog about it every friday on SPEAKING FROM THE FRIDGE FRIDAYS - come check it out

    new follower