Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Blogging Virgin

I've wanted to start a blog for some time now -- today I got around to actually doing it! And this is my first time, so I'm not exactly sure what to bear with me.

Knowing that I wanted it to be about being chubby, I wanted to come up with a title that was creative & funny. I was chatting with my friend Jen (, throwing around some ideas. She came up with "Baby Got Back" and I instantly thought of "Baby Got Back Fat" was perfect!! So thank you, Jen Ho-ho-knee, for your help in creating a funny title.

Why is 'Back Fat' so perfect in my blog title? Because when I discovered that I actually had back fat, which was right after I had my first child, I realized that it was official -- I was fat!! That day was a tough one. I was at Nordstrom trying on bras...enormous bras because I had recently had a baby and although I was no longer breast feeding, my boobs were still huge. I was in the fitting room surrounded by mirrors, checking out the rear view fit of a bra and holy shit!...what did I see?...back fat!!! I couldn't believe it! I knew that I had put on some weight, but c'mon...back fat?!? EWWWWW! I cried.

That day, although sad, was a turning point for me - my brain switched into uber determination mode...determined to lose some weight. I was enrolled in Weight Watchers at that time and had been doing okay...but not my new found determination was very beneficial to me. I literally didn't have to try to not eat...I didn't feel starved or deprived...I didn't secretly long for cookies or nachos or cookies...I just didn't want it. It was amazing!! And I actually lost a lot of weight...for two weeks. This amazing sense of willpower that seemed so natural had run out. Dammit!! And I was just starting to really look and feel good. So that's the other part of my dilemma - my reason for starting this voice the frustration of inconsistencies in my motivation & willpower. If back fat can't keep me from eating everything in sight and send me into high gear for losing weight, what the hell will?

Fast foward 7 years. My first baby...the one who was responsible for my introduction to back fat (yes, I'm blaming it on her!) will be in the 2nd grade this fall, and my 2nd child will be in Kindergarten. And I'm still fat!!...even fatter!! I can no longer use the excuse "I just had a baby" (for obvious reasons), nor can I blame things on a jacked up thyroid or anything like that. Having babies does screw up your body, but that's a lousy excuse. So what's my problem?!? My back fat has doubled in size, my belly fat is expanding, my arms are as big as my head, and my thighs look like giant hams!!! (Thank you Stef for the ham thigh idea.) I'm completely out of shape...all flappy and waggley (Anne...thank you)...and I'm only 36 years old. Something has got to change!!

So there you have it: my reasons for creating this blog. To vent, bitch, and moan about my weight...but not to just hear myself talk. I'm expecting this blog to be therapeutic, to allow me to laugh at myself, and to hold me accountable to those who read it (even if it's just a couple of friends) to finally lose some weight and get in shape. And if I get others piping in to do the same about their own struggle...great. If people have tips, ideas, words of encouragement for me...that's great too. So here I go!!

Damn, all this typing has made me hungry...pass the nachos.


  1. Ok - I'm a follower. The "H" sister's know all about ham thighs. I need accountability too. Too bad you can't virtually pass the nachos.

  2. Mmmm ham. I need a partner in crime to get my fat ass unfat. Let's kick each others butt! Sound good?! Love the blog! Good job. ♥

  3. Jen.. I love it !! I need to find that final picture of me and change my life.